Smith Ventures: First 2 Weeks of our New Adventure

So May 1, 2013, is the day of closings & beginnings. An emotional day was ahead of me. Exhaustion was already there & more was ahead. Good things are ahead! Adventure is ahead! Change is ahead! The day started off with a OB dr visit with an ultra sound. That's where all the emotions started...Wasn't the best visit ever. My babies are usually small & are usually behind when measuring & that's fine but this time baby girl fell farther behind & was outside that 2 week ''safe'' measurement. She was just behind but now she isn't keeping up with even that. So off to the perinatologist we were to go. They were worried about my autoimmune disease might be effecting her, or the placenta might not be doing its job, or something else could be causing her to fall off. I finally stopped losing weight but now need to gain all that I lost back & then suppose to gain even more from there. My mind was in a million different places. Heading to closing in about an hr, house still had stuff to be moved out & now drs are worried about our little girl. God has this all in control! Stay focused, deep breathes, we got this! :) Need to keep pushing forward & trusting Him!
So its official... We closed on our house & moved out. Wow!!! 7 years in that house, in that neighborhood & its all gone! Seems so unreal! Well until all reality sets in:) And that reality of life being uprooted & the roller coaster beginning didn't take long to set in! Moved out to where you might ask? A new house? Nope, we have a house that we really like & have placed a contract on it. That house however will not be ready to close until June 6. Then following closing it has about 3-4 weeks of fixing up to do. So we are ''homeless'' for 2 months! We have moved everything that was in our house to Adams shop & we will stay in the camper until we move into our new house. We might go out of town or to a hotel here & there, we really aren't sure. People ask what we are doing & when we say we don't know, we really mean we don't know! This isn't exactly how we planned this moving thing to go. Good thing is though this is exactly how God planned it, & He knows what He's doing. Its not every day you find yourself homeless without a home to go to. Kind of a day by day, play by play thing! A husband, a 6months pregnant wife, 5 kids, 2 dogs, 2 fish, a dragon & no home! So we have a lot of unknowns ahead. An adventure for sure, a journey like no other. A season that will seem way too long while in it, but will pass before we know it!
Literally just pulled up to camper with the last load, haven't even gotten out of car from unbuckling kids & I hear Adam yelling for Bruno. He had gotten here 5 mins before me. I'm just now trying to take some deep breaths & get my emotions under control from driving away from our house for last time. Don't get me wrong I am super super excited to be moving! A load is lifted & another load is placed lol :) God has some great things ahead but it's still sad to say good bye to something that did hold a lot of fun memories! After all, we did bring 3 of our babies home from the hospital there! We have had many Christmas there! But our family is moving on! Yippee this is an awesome thing! A God thing! We have been waiting for this move for so long & God has finally allowed things to go through! Its all in His timing!:) As long as we are together we are home! We are family! As close as close as family can get! We will push forward! We will make it through this. Anyways back to that first 5 mins of this journey & my daughter's dog, Bruno, well.....was gone. Adam let him out of truck turned to help move one thing went to tie him up(he usually doesn't leave) and he was gone! Shoot!!! A pit was in my stomach! What do we do?!? Just moved to this shop right off hwy 20 where tons of cars travel & he doesn't know where we are or what we are doing. How will he come back?? Is he gone for good? Seriously, is this how we are starting off this new season??? Is this what we have in store?? What?!?!?! We all began to go in separate ways calling for him! I walked up the street just yelling, I remember after 20 mins turned around walked back to shop & juliana was walking up & her head was bent down & she walked right up barried her head in my chest, cried, hugged me tight & just said over & over I cant do this, I cant do this any more. Oh how my heart sunk & hurt!! I just stood there in middle of road & just held her & prayed!! I was feeling her pain! So much change & now her dog is gone, possibly for good:( I finally couldn't walk any more & decided to get in the car & drive & look on hwy 20. I didn't think he would go near cars but had to try. We looked for a good hr or so & finally someone heard us calling & said oh yea he's up at my store, (the peanut store as my kids call it) he walked right in. Haha :) that's Bruno for ya. She said she tied him up. Adam went up there & got him....safe & sound-thankfully!!! Ok....can we have a smooth start from here:)
Moving out of your house with no where to live is a very humbling experience! For sure makes you count your blessing & realize the things, even if they are small, but the things you take for granted... You don't realize how much you like that or use that until you are stripped away from almost everything. I think deep down knowing that we really have no one or no place to go, is just looks & sounds so scary! A lot of people would have family to stay with when in this situation. I'm journaling this adventure down, not to vent or complain but just so we look back on it & see where we came from, but also to help me along the way to become even more aware of my blessings, even the small things! Help me appreciate big & little things in life...grateful for things that people wouldn't usually think twice about. To count the gifts, big & small, that God places in our life on a daily basis. This a journey we are on, an adventure, is a new season in life! Boy do I know that these days ahead are going to hold some rough ones, (one could only imagine being homeless would be rough) but they are also going to hold some awesome, meaningful, fun, teachable days! Days to be humble & grateful, days to really stop, be quiet, be still & just know HE is God & He is at work!
It's so odd, weird to be driving around canton & when needing to head home I'm not driving to the home that I've known for the past 7 yrs. I actually haven't once made the wrong turn to go there surprisingly. I'm not driving through a neighborhood seeing all the neighbors, I'm driving to a gravel shop parking lot off hwy 20, where Adam holds his business & pulling up to a 28 foot camper that is now our home...It's mind blowing how much things have changed:) While out Houston will ask where are we headed & I say home, he says we can't, we don't have a home. Those people bought it, they bought ALL of it mommy. I then say yes buddy, but we are going to the shop where we live for now. Hard for a 4 yr old to understand. Or when we leave a store the kids say when we get home or I mean back to the shop can I.... Why is it that these little sayings hit me to the heart?!? Feeling like they need security & I need to help provide that outside of the place they call ''home''. We are ''home'' when we are together, so they need be at rest:) Oh the joy they are going feel though when we have a house & how when they can say 'home' they will be correct but I want them to understand a house doesn't make us a 'home'!! When we are all together, where ever we may be that... Is when we are 'home'!! I want them to feel comfort & peace in this transition & know God has a plan & we are right where He wants us. Hard for me at times to understand why He couldn't have planned them to go smoother, but He wants us fully dependent on Him, coming together as a family & trusting Him! I want them to feel secure! And yet some how I think they do feel some security, I think this is one of those times where I need to eat my own words!! I need to believe that stuff!! I truly believe besides being EXHAUSTED & If I could triple that exhaustion that's what we would all be! But outside of that when I look at my kids, I somehow see happier, more at peace, freer kids. I know they are gonna have rough days & the adjustment well... Will be an adjustment but over all, love seeing them live life like kids!! So the first day had its ups & downs but over all-pretty good. I've been in the shop trying to organize what was in our house. I packed the kids school books last & said they needed to go to camper cause next week they have state testing. But of course it was just thrown in shop & I can't find them. So school is on hold for now, but somehow I have to help them study & prepare for this test. This is their first time taking a BIG test, they are exhausted & nervous about it...boy has this momma been in prayer for them!
Weekend is here.... As I went about the day I shot some things down when they happened or when they came to mind...yes I might name them more than once in this post, bare with me!
* Things like a WARM flippin shower for more then 2-3mins! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
Nothing like running to target so your son can go poop;) thankful for 4 boys who can just step outside and pee:)
Annnnd, you might wonder why I said that about boys peeing outside & running to store to go #2 :) Well in a camper you only have so much water before you run out & your tank can only hold so much waste. So we have to use it sparingly. So boys pee outside & we try & go to store to go #2. Adam usually has to fill us up with water once a day. He hooks up the hose & drags it down the hill to our friends business to fill it up. People are usually at camp sites when they stay in their camper. That way they have endless amounts of water & they came ''dump'' whenever needed. With work being busy, having all our stuff (that's sort of unorganized right now) in the shop, school, & baseball....we just figured we would stay here for now. We might move to a camp site later or even go to hotel or out of town here or there. But that would also mean trying to find everything we need in shop & repack to move to camp site. Sounds like too much work for now lol I'm a pansy I know!;)
Oh rainy days how you are so draining, weary & hard! What a way to start off our homeless/camper days. Thankful for the rain but boy does it make being ''homeless'' & living in a camper very hard! Days & nights are long...It literally has rained from friday-monday. Sunday night we got hit with a storm that left our canopy flipped back & put 3 holes in our roof! Talk about trying to keep your cool! Adam had to go out in the rain & try & cover it up until it stops raining so he can fix it right. Last night, man it just seemed like one thing after another. But Adam and I keep looking at each other, give each other a hug & say its all good, we are gonna make it through this! We are praying that through this season we come closer together as a family & really embrace this!
I will say as I'm laying here in bed completely exhausted & just feeling YUCK, & don't get me wrong I am soo beyond over the rain, but in this moment I'm enjoying the simple sound of rain falling against the camper roof! I'm thankful for the sweet peaceful sound! Actually calming...1000gifts :) See I'm trying to find positive in our rough situation! Finding beauty in the little things! Thankful for water & being able to go bathroom whenever. Always interesting to have your kids ask if they can use the bathroom or at 10:00 at night as you're getting kids in bed your husband says he's running to store so he can use the bathroom. Thankful for space! I usually don't want or need a lot of it, but when you're talking about crowding 7 people in this tight walking area, you tend to miss ''space''. Or shoot talk about throwing up in the little space called a bathroom lol Kind of uncomfortable;)
Thankful for a kitchen & being able to cook whatever you want. We have done a lot of going out. 1, because cooking is a challenge & 2, just to get out, out of this camper. :) Thankful for a house built on solid ground lol Solid ground meaning that your house doesn't shake & rock like a boat when even the lightest of you walk around. Generally you don't notice it until bedtime & you're laying down. When one person gets up, rolls over the boat is a rocking. Lol :)
The weekend came to an end & a new week has begun! Adam took the younger 3 boys to camper store so we can fix the holes in our roof. While I took the older 2, to the Starbucks in target so I could help them study for their test. It was actually peaceful & relaxing! They have free wifi too, so that's a plus:) Oh there is another thing that we forget about, having the ability to get on Internet whenever you need or want. Now I pack up my phone or computer & head up to Target to use computer. Not the end of the world just something we can take for granted.
Oh wow yesterday was a day!!! A day where the world felt heavy & more then I could carry! I know I know I'm not suppose to carry it, I'm suppose to let God carry it, but just the every day stuff, being homeless, being in transition, being pregnant, being sick( cause yes I am still sick, I am able to keep more liquids down but food is still a no & I'm still nauseated all the time. I'm just tryin to manage it better & really push past it!), being a mom, a wife, it all felt like too much! Dont talk to me or I just might burst into tears or go off lol Man am I needing some Jesus or what?!? Just needing to be in His presence!! I just wanted to scream & cry! Seems like every time I turn around I'm disappointing someone. Either a friend who I'm not there for enough or I'm not sharing enough info about stuff or my family cause I'm not calling them enough or making time for them. I feel pulled in a million different directions & like people are expecting so much out of me! Ultimately God & my family comes first & that's what's happening right now. On that day it just all crashed on me! I really have never been the mom that longed for nap time or bed time! I really love being a mom & spending time with my kids! Not saying the ones that do long for nap time dont love their kids, I just never got that I wanna/need a break feeling! Like I said I'm very blessed with some GREAT kids! And don't get me wrong they are still great kids, they are just in transition & trying to figure this new lifestyle out, so their moods, emotions, temperaments have been ALL over the place! I'd say we are on a roller coaster! Never knowing when something else is gonna strike or when one of us is gonna strike:/ ugh I hate that! We have been doing a lot of seeking Him & praying with the kids & talking about how we understand this is different & hard at times, but we WILL NOT let satan use this to tear us apart!! We will be brought closer together! So anyways with the roller coaster of emotions & what not, I have longed for nap time & bed time cause honestly I'm just exhausted, emotionally, mentally & physically! What's wrong with me?!?!? I'm usually way tougher than this!!!! Sometimes I feel I need to be stronger, tougher but then I think I'm not sure of one of my friends who would do this! Be willing to do this! Not praising me & saying I'm all that, but most woman have a limit, boundaries! I just go with it! I don't tell adam I WON'T do something. I just do it! People laugh when they hear our situation, or they don't fully understand/believe it, but honestly what do they expect us to do?? We have no family to stay with & Most people in this situation would have family to stay with. So yes we might be all redneck & living in a camper in Adams shop parking lot, but there isn't any other options:) So I'm proud of us for toughing it out! Its not always easy, lol but we are making it work! Sometimes I'm not sure Adam even knows or understands how challenging it is at times for me. I mean he hears what I have to say, but living it & seeing it is different than hearing about it! He gets up & is off to work for the day, comes home & it's bed time :)
Man, Who would have thought being 6months pregnant, living in your camper with 5 kids would be rough?!?!? Haha :) And man, yesterday...well it was just plain rough! Kids were a mess, I was a mess! There was not much fruit flowin' if ya know what i mean! I felt hopeless & lost! I can see my kids are having a blast in one aspect but totally struggling in another & I have no clue how to help my kids with this adjustment! Praying & seeking His comfort & direction! Feeling like this transition is going rougher than anticipated! Kids are at each other-badly, just emotional, not listening....I know, I shouldn't complain, & really I don't feel like I am...I feel like I'm just journaling our adventure- the ups & the downs! When this is all done & over we can look back & see where we came from! How we grew, how we manage & over came! What we experienced! We are super blessed!! I should embrace this more!!! I'm trying to remind myself to stop, BREATH, PRAY, & embrace!!! I'm just exhausted! I know I've said it but being 6months pregnant & although people might not be able to tell, I might not be huge I STILL FEEL pregnant! Things still ache, I'm still sick...I'm trying to push through! I'm trying! Lofton has had a very rough time adjusting! Plus I think he might have a little something something:( He hasn't been sleeping, he has been crying a bunch & just way over emotional! He hasn't been eating, yet cries for ''nack'' (snack) all the time! So with him not sleeping that means I don't sleep...This is only a season though & he's only little for so long, so it's all good!
After baseball Thursday night we came home & Adam made a fire & kids made s'mores! They had a blast & it was nice to just see them relaxing having fun & no one was arguing! I helped them with making the s'mores took a few pictures then came in camper & just chilled. That kind of mood (grumpy, fighting, negativity) is not usually the mood in our house, so it's getting under my skin lol making me very grateful that I usually have kids that get along, laugh together, play together & enjoy being with one another! Makes me thankful for a little peace and quiet!
This morning yet again started off rough, Lofton didn't sleep, kids walked out of their room negative & just hateful towards each other! UGHHH so I sent them straight back to their room not even 2 mins of them being up & out of their room. I finally after being homeless for a week & 2 days took a shower. Yes I know, moan & groan about how gross! I did try a couple nights ago & about died I was sooo flippin cold! Haven't really been able to take one cause you are in there for 2 mins & it runs cold. That's NOT fun! The other night the boys took a shower outside cause it was warm & I could use the hose. :) So another thing I'm so very thankful for! WARM WATER, showers for more then 2 mins, & oh my very sweet baths! I just want to take a nice warm long relaxing bath! Anyhoo, I hurried up washed my hair & got out! Took the kids to the store for a change of scenery & to get something for them for lunch. We are limited on space so you almost have to go to store every day to get what you want for RIGHT THEN. Came home to fix lunch & the breaker blows, right in middle of trying to cook dinner for tonight(which is a whole other challenge) & cook lunch. No lights, no air, no nothing! Awesome:) took about an hr to figure things out with Adam on the phone. In mean time kids were hungry, we were all hot, & I was grumpy lol :) After that though, things went about the smoothest they had yet! GRATEFUL!! I needed a day of a little smooth sailing! Younger 2 slept, older 2 watched a movie, dinner was a fail, but I got to sit & update this blog...which feels so refreshing! :) Looking at the week & all the struggles & yet all the areas of gratefulness!! This too shall pass! Things could be worse! I am strong! I am able to do this through Him! God has everything already worked out & has a plan for us!! Oh the stories we are making & having to tell through this! Week one, finished! It's a new day, a new week! Life goes on!
Week 2 has been about the same... Rough! I think the farther we get into this more more exhausted & drained I am. But somehow managing the exhaustion:) Adam is now sick or I really wouldn't say ''sick'', he is just stuffed up & has this horrible cough. So he is up all night coughing which means no sleep for us & then Lofton still isn't sleeping, so sleep is something of the past lol :) Thought this amount of sleep deprivation came AFTER you have your newborn haha Man I need to catch up some how before sweet girl gets here! :) Kids are still having a rough time. They have been cooped up in this camper for 2 wks & sleep is running low on them as well...I can see a break in moods & a slight better adjustment to this coming, for that I'm excited & feeling hopeful but for now they are still struggling. This past weekend was Mother's Day. Emotions always run high for me on this day because of what I long to have with my own mother. So my heart gets a little heavy & sad when I think too much about it(try not to do that lol). Saturday was a busy day of baseball games. FUN!! Landon & Houston had their last games. Kind of a bittersweet day for me, because I LOVE watching my boys play! It's a distraction, & it's a family thing! It brings me so much joy to see them succeed & have fun doing something they love. I'm their biggest cheerleader:)
I could tell Saturday night something was bothering Juliana but didn't know what. Sat down & talked with her some & she was upset cause they didn't get me anything for Mother's Day. She had been asking Adam when it was so they would have time to do something for me but things have been crazy. So she felt bad. I told her it didn't matter! It's not about the gifts. I have never been about the gifts. Sunday morning came around & Adam decided he wanted to go to Gatlinburg. So I packed up some clothes for everyone & we got on the road. I must say my attitude wasn't in a very good place. I wasn't really looking forward to packing & driving in the mountains. Not really my type of place. Although things didn't go exactly as I would have liked or would have thought, once God put me in my place it really was a nice little get away. We were only there for Sunday night & then came home Monday night. It was nice to have a place to stay that had a little more room, it was nice to get the kids out & let them do some fun things & it was nice that everyone got a nice WARM shower:) Part of me was ready to come home & then part of me wasn't. It wasn't the best Mother's Day I've had but I made the most of it & it was a memory I'll hold dear! It isn't always about being honored or spoiled but about truly cherishing, enjoying & being grateful for those precious gifts that God gave you that made you a mother in the first place! Being a mother is the most awesome, rewarding jobs ever! Yes it is hard & challenging at times! Its not about the gifts, my children ARE the greatest gift in life that I could ever want or could ask for! These 6 babies are the best gift, better than any other moms gifts of chocolates or jewelry or spa day or new purse!! I AM BLESSED! My cup runneth over!! 1000gifts #EUCHARISTEO ❤Grateful❤Thankful❤Loved❤ Cherished❤
Over all the first 2 weeks have been rougher, & more challenging then I thought it would be, but one thing is for sure we haven't looked back ONCE, we haven't said one time, man wish we were back in our house. I'm still excited about this journey, still excited about moving forward & everything that God has in store for us! Still gonna have challenging days, but we got this!! If anyone can pull through this, we can! I can see a break in the roughness, so bring on week 3! :) here are some pictures from the past 2 wks.

having lunch. maxing out the table ;)

My girl bungee jumping in Gatlinburg

My boy bungee jumping...weeeee ;)

bubbles

he LOVES bubbles

working on her second puzzle

the boys doing their puzzle

painting time

feeding himself :)

enjoying some sunshine after MANY RAINY RAINY days!

our life right now...finding the joy in the little things :)

watching brother play ball :)

thankful!

Lost his FIRST tooth!! :)

yes this is how you have to shave while homeless....redneck style :/ lol

my view every day....& from where all the noise comes from at 6am

Alpine Slide

must have gone down 9x :)

S'more time

yummy

silly boy

baseball time :)

snack time

our space....might look big, but just wait until you cram all 7 of us in there :) Still so thankful!

Highlight of the week....getting to register! They had a blast, clicking away on everything! Although kind of hard to register when all you really need is clothing. Starting from scratch with this girl....Most big stuff we have left over from Lofton...but no clothes :)

our adventure for the night. Our pump was FULL & over flowing & well daddy & Landon had to go drain some "waste" :( at least he was smiling. If pictures could smell :p