Offended

As we were pulling into our driveway from a very long day of traveling home from Florida, I see car lights go on in our driveway. I kind of jumped a little because it caught me off guard. I told Adam that's weird, who could that be? He went on to tell me it was the person letting the dogs out. I was thinking in my head, man they are here late-as it was close to 11:00pm! As the car pulled out of our driveway I could see it was a lady & then she pulled beside our car & started talking to Adam about the house. Come to find out, Adam had hired her to come clean our house while we were out of town. We left in such a rush that my house wasn't exactly clean & how I like it to be & he knew the very next day after getting home we were having company come stay with us. So he very thoughtfully hired for her to come ease some of my stress, my worry & help clean for me!! Was it a help?? Did it ease my worry?? Or did it embarrass me, stress me out even more & offend me?? That is what was going through my mind. I am clearly aware that I am strange & most woman would LOVE if their husbands hired a cleaning lady! I however had mixed emotions & feeling about it! I was embarrassed about how messy my house was! I felt vulnerable, like she saw deep into my life & is secretly judging me! I felt offended that my husband liked what all she did, I was feeling like I was letting him down. Like I wasn't doing a good enough job:( I was offended when he said maybe since she was cheap he would have her come once a month to help so the deep cleaning stuff! I looked around & thought it doesn't really look any different from when I clean, only difference is I didn't do it! Then I began to really think about it! Tried to sort out my feelings & instead of being offended & was trying to see the blessing in it! I started to become thankful that he hired her! Although I enjoy cleaning, it was one less thing I had to do! It was one less minute that took me away from my kids & allowed me that time to be with them & play! I so enjoy a organized, clean house! And I will work hard at keeping it clean & organized to the best of my ability but my kids aren't getting any younger!! I don't want them to grow up look back & think all momma did was clean & organize, she never played with us! In my mind I know they won't, because we play a lot! But I strive to make them feel cherished & important & that the laundry, the house work, it can all wait! They are what is important!! I could go on & on...but over all what started feeling like an offense, turned out to be a blessing!! I am so thankful that this one little act made my day so much easier, it was less stressful & gave me all those minutes, hours that I would have spent cleaning, I was now spending precious, priceless moments with my babies! Moments I can't get back! So thank you babe!!

What to do, what to do, that is the question!?!?!

I know that I just updated a little bit about Lofton last night, but today new stuff came about...This afternoon Lofton had an ENT app. which left us with the discussion of surgery! Not really sure how I feel about that. Apparently Lofton's tube in his right ear has fallen out & he has another ear infection & a lot of fluid. They did a hearing test & he failed. They put him back on antibiotics & have asked the nurse to call me to schedule his surgery. The Dr. wants to put another tube in his right ear, remove his left ear's tube & replace it with a new one. So now we are faced with, do we go through with the surgery, do we give this diet a little bit longer & see if things get better, do we go with another ENT & get another opinion, do we get cultures of the fluid in his ear to see what it is? What to do, what to do??? Just when I thought we might be getting some where, we hit another speed bump! I am confident though that He will guide us & show us the path to take!! I am believing for 100% healing over Lofton's body!! HE has great plans for Lofton & I am excited to see how this all unfolds! I am hopeful! Now to pray & wait!

Update on Lofton

So it's been about a month since finding out we had to practically cut everything out of Lofton's diet... It has for sure had its ups & downs, good days & bad! But through it all God has been my strength, my shoulder to cry on, my support! He brought us to this new life style & He will bring us through it! I'm not gonna say that I haven't doubted this process at times but just when I start to doubt I feel like God gives me the strength & perseverance to push on. Since starting this new diet/lifestyles a month ago, Lofton has had 2 more ear infections:( So it kind of seemed like hum maybe this is pointless, maybe it doesn't matter, it doesn't help to cut out all this stuff! But NO!! I had to stay on track! Lofton went about 3 days no drainage from his ears & it was Adam's bday so we decided to give in this ONE time & let him have a bite of a donut, that's ALL he took was ONE bite! The next morning, yep drainage pouring from his ear:( Here we go again, another ear infection :/ Even though I hated that he got another ear infection I felt like it was conformation that food has a big role in why he's so sick! We must keep on track with this diet. This past Friday we started these treatments that are hopefully going to help build his system back up but also reduce his allergic reactions to some of these foods. Sounds weird I know! I'm not 100% sure about them but I'm willing to give it a try. They can only treat him for one allergy at a time. Once the treatments start, not only can you not eat it, but him nor I cannot touch it or even be around it! This weekend was a bit rough with that. My kids had to step up & make their own breakfast & lunches & then I had to always make sure they were really washing & cleaning up after themselves. The kids did great & I think they actually enjoyed doing stuff on their own. I had to practice & learn a little more patience when things weren't done just how I like. Lol I will admit that today has been the hardest yet for me. I love fruit & veggies but today I was just feeling over it & just wanted some chicken! :) All in all I am feeling very encouraged that we are moving forward & that Lofton is feeling the best he has in several months!! Praise The Lord!! :)