Offended

As we were pulling into our driveway from a very long day of traveling home from Florida, I see car lights go on in our driveway. I kind of jumped a little because it caught me off guard. I told Adam that's weird, who could that be? He went on to tell me it was the person letting the dogs out. I was thinking in my head, man they are here late-as it was close to 11:00pm! As the car pulled out of our driveway I could see it was a lady & then she pulled beside our car & started talking to Adam about the house. Come to find out, Adam had hired her to come clean our house while we were out of town. We left in such a rush that my house wasn't exactly clean & how I like it to be & he knew the very next day after getting home we were having company come stay with us. So he very thoughtfully hired for her to come ease some of my stress, my worry & help clean for me!! Was it a help?? Did it ease my worry?? Or did it embarrass me, stress me out even more & offend me?? That is what was going through my mind. I am clearly aware that I am strange & most woman would LOVE if their husbands hired a cleaning lady! I however had mixed emotions & feeling about it! I was embarrassed about how messy my house was! I felt vulnerable, like she saw deep into my life & is secretly judging me! I felt offended that my husband liked what all she did, I was feeling like I was letting him down. Like I wasn't doing a good enough job:( I was offended when he said maybe since she was cheap he would have her come once a month to help so the deep cleaning stuff! I looked around & thought it doesn't really look any different from when I clean, only difference is I didn't do it! Then I began to really think about it! Tried to sort out my feelings & instead of being offended & was trying to see the blessing in it! I started to become thankful that he hired her! Although I enjoy cleaning, it was one less thing I had to do! It was one less minute that took me away from my kids & allowed me that time to be with them & play! I so enjoy a organized, clean house! And I will work hard at keeping it clean & organized to the best of my ability but my kids aren't getting any younger!! I don't want them to grow up look back & think all momma did was clean & organize, she never played with us! In my mind I know they won't, because we play a lot! But I strive to make them feel cherished & important & that the laundry, the house work, it can all wait! They are what is important!! I could go on & on...but over all what started feeling like an offense, turned out to be a blessing!! I am so thankful that this one little act made my day so much easier, it was less stressful & gave me all those minutes, hours that I would have spent cleaning, I was now spending precious, priceless moments with my babies! Moments I can't get back! So thank you babe!!